My Madonna

Painting of panel completed. Ready for lettering

If My Madonna looks a bit tilted, it is because this photo was taken with the panel on a slanted drafting table. She's resting comfortably waiting for me to letter the text. Unlike other projects, I am nearly paralyzed by the thought of taking pen to panel. What if I make a spelling or spacing error? There are no corrections on crinoline. I shall let her lie in peace on the table while I work up the courage.


Over the years of making art I've found it important to respect the media. The Book of Mary is a challenge with the choice of using crinoline. It is an open weave starched fabric that reacts quite differently to paint than paper or canvas. I've experimented with watercolors, gouache, and acrylics, but encountered major problems. Too much water in the paint will dissolve the starch and stretch the fabric. Too little water makes the paint too thick to spread evenly. Finding the right ratio of water to paint is like preparing a batch of pancakes. There is a very fine line between crepes and cakes.


I nearly gave up the notion of doing faux stained glass panels, but remembered I had a set of  Faber-Castell Aquarell Pigment Sticks that were a gift from Brenda, a very dear friend. The set consists of thirty sticks with a broad range of colors. With just a swipe of a lightly water-filled brush, it was easier to get within that fine water to paint ratio.


Oh, there are still issues. There are places where the fabric buckled and bowed after the paint dried due to the broad weave of the fabric. Ironing the fabric is not an option even between a cloth barrier. The starch melts at the slightest heat. Repeatedly I was reminded this fabric was not meant to be painted. But every time I was ready to give up, my motto "Even if it can't be done, do it anyway" nudged me on with the reminder to respect the media.


The choice of using an earth/skin-tone palette for My Madonna is rooted in my personal belief Mary represents the Great Mother. Queen of All. Mother of God: the God that always was and always will be. Yet she bows her head showing humility as a servant so those who require her attentions may feel welcomed to do so.


Though born a Catholic, organized religion is not something I subscribe to. However, I adore the Catholic Mary. So many prayers, hymns, devotions, paintings, murals, sculptures... over the span of two centuries. She is the Mary of my childhood who brought comfort whenever I called upon her. She got me through many nights when seriously ill. And there have been times when I was sure my prayers to her saved planes I was on from crashing.  She helped me land jobs and find funds when I desperately needed them. She is an ever-present companion.


Prior to this project my process was improvisational. Cut a length of canvas and cover it with color! Dance while flinging paint. Spend hours layering paint upon paint. And when that was done, let the pen-in-hand go to the canvas with words and words and more words. No mockettes. No rough drafts. Just pure, unadulterated improvising. Not so with the BoM. Every mark is made with thoughtful consideration. There are layouts and roughs before going to the crinoline. Colors are chosen with care not only should the colors "go-together", but that the colors provide another layer of meaning.


Time to gather courage to get back to the mission of laying the text. Maybe praying to her will help.